Porsche 356

It is probably a guy thing but do you have a favorite auto in your life? Is there some set of wheels that far outshines all others in your life? No matter how many shiny, glitzy vehicles come along, there is that one car that lives in your memory forever. Whether it is a cheap, old clunker or a usable vehicle, it lives in fondness in your mind.

Such a car was not the first I ever had. As a matter of fact, it came down the list quite a country mile. To some, it was a strange looking vehicle called a Porsche Speedster, fondly called my own bathtub on wheels. That was not my name but was what most everyone decided that was the best description of the somewhat strange auto.

It was aerodynamically very efficient regardless the strange configuration. It was an open convertible, with a bit of tongue in cheek design. My bathtub had a top. of sorts, but the protection it provided was about the same whether up or down considering all the holes and rips it sported. But that didn’t stop the family from touring several states of the nation with bravado and zest.

The Speedster did have a windshield or windscreen, depending from whence you harken. This slight excuse for wind protection is barely taller than a normal adult’s head but it does the job. Of course, the driver and passenger experience a lot of hair ruffling but, at that stage in life, that was of no concern. And, by the way, there was a seat for extra passengers, either very small children or midgets. In the back of the sporty car you normally don’t consider the need for passenger space.

When I first got the Porsche, it was not in the very best of condition. Of course, I drove it for many miles with pleasure, but it was beginning to show a little wear. Especially the top, which was in very bad condition. It sported rips, a few holes and was not very bad weather report proof. That didn’t bother me very much because I drove my car with the top down for most of the time. With a sporty tonneau cover over the cockpit, it gave the feeling of flight and circumstance. Sometimes I imagined that I was seeking the sky of France in search of The Red Baron, another I was on the backstretch of Le Man. By the way, that inspiration got me into trouble more than once. The local enforcing guys did not share my thrill!

Time does march along and I found myself in the big and wonderfull state of California, the home of motor sports at the time. My wife and I got involved in several clubs and events that were common in the movie state. The LA Times had almost a entire page of scheduled events every Sunday and we made as many as possible. Having by now sired an offspring, the baby spent the first few years of his life in the back of the Speedster, touring around Orange county with a confusing map of instruction that were created by apparently devious, delirium ebriositatis.

But I never lost my love for the Speedster. I drove it to work daily and, each time, enjoyed my dreams and ambitiousness of the time. Of course, with a close eye for the CHP, who did not share my dreams. On one occasion, a CHP motorcycle cop pulled me over and, after checking my license and paperwork, admitted he just wanted to take a closer look at such a strange looking car. Believe it or not.

As time progressed, I finally decided it was time to clean up the car. Well, truthfully, I blew the crankshaft with a large bang. I have not mentioned that the car was a Super with a Hirth, articulated crank. What does that mean? Well, the crank had ball bearings on the mains. A pretty good idea when it is working properly but when it breaks, disaster!

The first thing I checked was to repair the crank. That was out of the question as the tab ran into the hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Remember, this was several years ago and money was very tight. So, I decided if I were to get the old girl running again, I needed to search to other repairs. I visited a friend at a Porsche VW (they were one and the same then) and asked him for advice. Fortunately, he was a good mechanic and put forth some pretty good ideas.

His first suggestion was to drop the Hirth. Not a problem but then I asked for the next tip. After I heard that a plain bearing crank would fit in my case, we explored this option. Turns out, he had a plain bearing crank that had been freshly turned and, furthermore, included a full set of 1600cc jugs, connecting rods and pistons. This was perfect!

I made a deal for the package from my friend and gleefully put them in my old Chevrolet station wagon. Yes, station wagon. This was way before SUV was a term in the American vernacular.

Over the next few weeks, I dropped the engine from my bathtub and began a reconscruct. I will admit it was not easy, and I had some bad moments. But it was a real learning experience and I have never regretted it. Sometimes I joke that I rebuilt my Porsche engine on the dining room table but that is not far from the truth. Eventually I finished it and, with the help of a rope block the I bought from Sears, I snuggled it back into the Porsche. Fantastic!

A little side remark, I normally parked the Chevy behind the Porsche in the driveway. One morning, I set out for work and never looked back. Wife called later in the morning when I was at work with this admonition. She loudly exclaimed, “ALWAYS be sure the Porsche is IN GEAR” when I leave because she and a neighbor had to push the Speedster back onto the driveway. It was sitting in the middle of the street a scant few moments after I left for work!

This story could really grow into a book instead of an article about my bathtub but I must stop. But I will say, I continued the rebuild, which included new paint, stripping, reinforcing those wonderful bucket seats and then covering them to perfection, putting on a new top built just for my car by a California top shop and on ad infinitum. So, I will stop here and tell the end of the story. When I left the state, for some reason that is not clear now, I decided I had to sell the Porsche. I did get a fair price from an auto museum and, at the time, was happy with the sale. I found out later that I could have gotten much more but cie le vie.

That is about my bathtub, my Porsche Speedster. This car is probably the love of my life. Except my family, of course. And there might be some question here because the bathtub is always in my dreams. Please checkout my Web site honoring my bathtub.

Dale R Smith drsmith7684@sbcglobal.net
http://www.dalzmoneytree.com
Career spent in teaching and training, both as a civilian and military trainer. Mr Smith has been a teacher in public schools, college and university and both the US Army and US Navy. A graphic artist and photographer with many prize winning designs

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